Thursday, March 27, 2014

Why I Won't Date Ugly People

Many times when I enter into a debate with other people, I only do so to be a smartass.  I don’t genuinely enjoy arguing.  However, there are certain subjects that I have strong opinions on and I can’t seem to keep my mouth shut.  This is also a problem because I am of the female gender and we all know women never shut the fuck up.  So today I found myself in the middle of a debate that I didn’t necessarily intend to be in, but my diarrhea of the mouth spewed out from my fingertips and all of a sudden I found myself in a position I would have rather avoided.  I only say this because, although I can hold my own in a healthy debate, I would much rather be able to sit down and express my views face to face or in blog form, instead of through a couple of short facebook posts. So here I am, sitting in front of my computer with a glass of wine, ready to tackle the ever so important subject at hand…Why I won’t date ugly people. 
First off, let’s be clear on what I mean when I say “ugly people”.  The word ugly is defined as something unpleasant to look at: not pretty or attractive.  Now, when we say something is unpleasant, that is purely an opinion.  Some people love the “singer” Drake, I personally find him absolutely repulsive and idiotic.  Some people love the color peach; I would rather shoot myself in the abdomen.  Some individuals hang their toilet paper under instead of over, those people are terrorists.  Clearly this is all just my opinion.  So when I say something is ugly, this only means that I find it unattractive.  I have dated ugly people in the past, purely out of loneliness.  I have had people tell me I’m ugly, purely out of insanity probably.  Does this bother me? Absolutely not.  It is their opinion and in MY opinion, I’m fucking beautiful.  This has been a recent finding of mine, so I’m proud to own it.  Meh.  The point is, just because I am not attracted to another individual does not mean they are not beautiful in someone else’s eyes.  I would never walk up to someone and tell them they are ugly, I am not a monster.  However, I will never admit that everyone is beautiful simply because I am personally not attracted to everyone.  I refuse to sugar coat things simply to make myself look like a goddamn saint, because let’s be realistic…I’m not.  There are people who find me to be physically ugly, but if you ask my boyfriend I am a fucking goddess.  It’s all a matter of opinion.  So give me a good reason why I would date someone that I found to be unattractive.  When I look at my god of a man, I see the hottest and sexiest mother fucker that has ever existed.  Yes, he’s physically gorgeous, but he also has the most amazing personality, heart and brain.  I find him beautiful in so many ways.  Why in the world would anyone date someone they are not physically attracted to? I agree that personality and intelligence are incredibly important, but if I don’t want to jump your bones and fuck your brains out every time you walk in the door, well…bye.  Here is something I understand about relationships, things get comfortable.  When things get comfortable, the desire to rub your genitals together 24/7 can slowly disappear.  But it’s so very important to keep that fire alive.  I’ve been married and I completely get the whole no sex thing.  I will NEVER settle for that again.  If things are really meant to be, you find a way to keep it alive.  You may not be boning twice a day like you did in the beginning, but as long as you still keep the fire lit, you’re good. 
Now let’s touch on another point…We all have friends, right? If I bring an ugly guy to meet my friends, their faces will tell me all I need to know.  As I stated before, I’ve dated ugly men out of pure loneliness, but I knew what I was doing.  Was I using him? Yes, probably.  Did I intend to hurt this individual? Of course not.  We all have that part of our brain that says “You never know, maybe this could work.”  It was never going to work.  He may have made me laugh nonstop and had conversations that would have blown your mind, but the boy was ugly.  I have one life to live and when I die, I’m buried in the ground never to be heard from again.  (This is my opinion and this blog is not about religion, that is a subject I’m sure I will eventually address.) I’m going to make the most out of my life.  So if I am going to choose to spend the rest of my days with someone, or even a few of my days with someone, it’s going to be someone that has all the qualities I look for.  And fortunately my list does not include someone who I find physically unattractive.  I am not someone who feels they need to hold their head up high and be proper.  I’m a god damn sassy, mouthy little fucker that does not give a shit whether people agree because it’s only my opinion.  I don’t agree with many things that others say, but that doesn’t mean I enjoy those people any less, it just means we have different brains.  I find this to be a good thing since we are different people.  It would be an odd world if we all thought the same way.  Although, I’d probably love it if everyone saw me as beautiful.  Back to the subject…I am not sitting here saying that physical beauty should be the only reason you pick someone.  But I am saying that most of the time it is the INITIAL reason you pick someone.  I will touch on this subject later, but I met my boyfriend through an online dating site.  This is how my searches went: Ugly, ugly, ugly, meh okay (shitty profile), ugly, ugly, oh hey this guy is hot (amazing profile)…and he’s the one I ended up with.  If I weren't physically attracted to him I never would have “winked” at him, let alone talked to him in a bar.  If he weren't hot as hell, I never would have understood his amazing brain and personality.  Do I truly believe this man would have spoken to me if he thought I was ugly? HELL NO.  He would have deleted me so god damn fast.  Now, I have friends and people in my life that I am not physically attracted to.  I LOVE their personality and I would step in front of a train for many of them.  Like a really slow moving train that I could possibly jump on.  I’m not going to die or anything.  Anyways, I love them.  Do I want to put my face against their genitals? NOPE.   My entire point of this far too lengthy blog can be summed up by the following statements:
I am not naïve enough to think that a relationship can survive on physical attraction alone.  However, I think that without it you are absolutely screwed and not in the fun way.  You need intelligent conversations, emotional acceptance and unconditional love.  But if you think they are ugly...what the fuck is the god damn point?
Live it hard



  1. I had this conversation with my mom the other day.... even my mom agreed that if I think a man is "ugly" looking, then not to waste my time dating him.
    Worst part is (and this is based on my experience), every time I gave physically "ugly" men a chance, they also turned out to be ugly on the inside and losers.... go figure! ... I think it's animal instinct..haha.. like subconciously we know we will not them at all lol